QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go." Margaret Walker

TODAY IS: NAT'L. BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING DAY + TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY + NAT'L. WOMAN ROAD WARRIOR DAY (traveling businesswomen) + INT'L. WOMEN'S ECOMMERCE DAY! AND IT'S ALSO POLLUTION PREVENTION WEEK + NAT'L. SINGLES WEEK!

CELEB/FAMOUS B-DAYS: ALISON SWEENEY + JIMMY FALLON + TRISHA YEARWOOD + JOAN LUNDEN + LESLIE "TWIGGY" LAWSON + "MAMA" CASS ELLIOT + BILL MEDLEY + ADAM WEST (Batman) + SLIMEY THE WORM

NEW STUFF AT A GLANCE:
How I Met Your Mother (x2-season premiere), Two & a Half Men (season premiere), 2 Broke Girls (series premiere), Hawaii Five-0 (season premiere), The Sing-Off (season premiere), The Playboy Club (season premiere), Hell's Kitchen (season finale), Dancing w/the Stars (season premiere), Castle (season premiere), Supersize vs. Superskinny (x2), Kathy Griffin's Emmys Aftermath, Roast of Charlie Sheen Pre-Show, Roast of Charlie Sheen, Crave, Diners Drive-Ins & Dives, The Best Thing I Ever Ate, American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior, American Underworld (series premiere), Giuliana & Bill, Tia & Tamera, The Protector, Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Ridiculousness, Death Valley, MTV's Cuff'd, Basketball Wives LA, La La's Full Court Life, The T.O. Show, Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, American Pickers, Pawn Stars (x2), I'm Alive (x3), GTTV Presents Gears of War 3: Countdown to Launch, Fashion Police, The Lying Game, Real Housewives of BH, Most Eligible Dallas, Eureka (season finale), Warehouse 13, Alphas, Regular Show, MAD, House Hunters, House Hunters Int'l., Showhouse Showdown, Deadly 60 (x2), Curiosity: What's Beneath America?, 20/20 on ID, Top Gear (BBC), House Crashers, Bath Crashers, Mega Dens, Bad Girls Club, Hair Battle Spectacular, Ashton Shepherd: Where Country Grows, The A-List: NY, 1 Girl 5 Gays, Bear Swamp Recovery, Weeds, The Big C

NEW SPORTS STUFF:
MLBaseball: Cardinals/Phillies, Giants Pre-Game, Monday Night Countdown, Monday Night Football: Rams/Giants, WWE Monday Night Raw


*CBS is NEW with the 7th season premiere of How I Met Your Mother (x2), the 9th season premiere of Two & a Half Men (Pt. 1 of 2), the series premiere of 2 Broke Girls and the 2nd season premiere of Hawaii Five-0

*NBC is NEW with the 3rd season premiere of The Sing-Off and the series premiere of The Playboy Club

*FOX is NEW with the 2 hr. 9th season finale of Hell's Kitchen

*ABC is NEW with the 13th season premiere of Dancing with the Stars (Live) and the 4th season premiere of Castle

*WWOR is NEW with Giants Pre-Game and Monday Night Football: Rams/Giants

*CW has repeats of H8R and Ringer

*PBS has repeats

*OWN is NEW with Supersize vs. Superskinny (x2)

*TVGN is NEW with Kathy Griffin's Emmys Aftermath

*Comedy Cntrl is NEW with Roast of Charlie Sheen Pre-Show and Roast of Charlie Sheen

*CSN is NEW with MLBaseball: Cardinals/Phillies

*Food Ntwrk is NEW with Crave (bacon), Diners Drive-Ins & Dives and The Best Thing I Ever Ate (New Orleans)

*Discovery is NEW with American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior and the series premiere of American Underworld

*Style is NEW with Giuliana & Bill and Tia & Tamera

*Lifetime TV is NEW with The Protector

*USA is NEW with WWE Monday Night Raw

*MTV is NEW with Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, Ridiculousness, Death Valley and MTV's Cuff'd

*VH1 is NEW with Basketball Wives LA, La La's Full Court Life and The T.O. Show

*NIK is NEW with Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness (sneak preview)

*History is NEW with American Pickers and Pawn Stars (x2)

*Animal Planet is NEW with I'm Alive (x3)

*Spike is NEW with GTTV Presents Gears of War 3: Countdown to Launch

*E! is NEW with Fashion Police (2011 Primetime Emmy Awards) and Chelsea Lately (Anna Kendrick)

*ABCFam is NEW with The Lying Game

*Bravo is NEW with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Most Eligible Dallas

*Syfy is NEW with the 4th season finale of Eureka, Warehouse 13 and Alphas

*Cartoon Ntwrk is NEW with Regular Show and MAD

*ESPN is NEW with Monday Night Countdown and Monday Night Football: Rams/Giants

*HGTV is NEW with House Hunters, House Hunters Int'l. and Showhouse Showdown

*NatGeoWild is NEW with Deadly 60 (x2)

*Science is NEW with Curiosity: What's Beneath America?

*ID is NEW with 20/20 on ID

*BBC is NEW with Top Gear

*Lifetime Movies has Another Woman's Husband and Web of Desire

*DIY is NEW with House Crashers, Bath Crashers and Mega Dens

*Oxygen is NEW with Bad Girls Club and Hair Battle Spectacular

*GAC is NEW with Ashton Shepherd: Where Country Grows

*Encore has 8 Mile, Legion and The Jerk

*Reelz has Honeymoon in Vegas

*G4 has The Onion Movie

*Logo is NEW with The A-List: New York and 1 Girl 5 Gays

*IFC has Drugstore Cowboy and Pecker

*Indie has The End of Violence, Monsoon Wedding and Italian for Beginners

*Retro has Mackenna's Gold

*TCM has Dr. Coppelius and The Red Shoes

*FLix has K-19: The Widowmaker and Internal Affairs

*truTV is NEW with Bear Swamp Recovery

*GMC has Pay It Forward

*HBO has Public Enemies

*Cinemax has Catch Me If You Can and Inception

*Showtime has Piranha and is NEW with Weeds and The Big C

*Starz has The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Country Strong and Resident Evil: Afterlife

*Late Nite Highlites: Jill Biden and Ted Danson on Late Show w/David Letterman (repeat); Keith Olbermann on The Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson (NEW); Christina Applegate on The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno (NEW); Simon Cowell on Late Night w/Jimmy Fallon (NEW); Dr. Phil McGraw on Jimmy Kimmel Live (NEW); Ryan Gosling and Nicole Scherzinger on Conan (NEW)

(http://www.tvguide.com/)